Great Expectations

“Lord God, I am not big or strong, but help me to do your work.”

This was a simple prayer at the dinner table from the lips of my boy that both surprised and delighted me! Earlier that day, I had been looking over his notebook he uses for morning devotions. I was surprised to find prayers that he had jotted down that were not for himself, but for his dad and me. I was shown insight into his world at school, and I was beyond proud of the person he is becoming. This devotional book was something I purchased for him several months ago, and encouraged him to begin his own journey of discovering God. I was overwhelmed with gratitude that the Lord was showing up in a very real way for my son. In that moment, I felt the Lord was confirming to me something I already knew – that he had been marked for greatness.

I remember when I was pregnant with Anthony; I had a long list of expectations of what my child was going to be like. He would be great at sports, perfectly behaved, he would be the smartest kid in school, and he would grow up to be a successful man (whatever that meant). These are things, I realize now, that are merely accomplishments, and don’t reflect what my child would actually be like. The truth is, God gave us a little boy who was made in His image (Genesis 1:27), and is the exact person he was created to be. He’s intelligent, he’s funny, he's caring and affectionate, he’s full of energy, he’s loud and obnoxious at times, he’s unorganized and he’s seven.

I feel like there is an overwhelming pressure on parents to compete with each other on who has the ‘better’ child. In conversation, we tend to conveniently sneak in little tidbits that our child is an advanced reader, or that he or she excels in a certain sport. We take over their science projects to make sure they get an A. We run ourselves ragged by carting them from this activity to that one, just to ensure that they are “well rounded,” when in reality, I think most of the time it’s for our own entertainment. We put them out on the soccer field at the age of two, and sit back waiting for them to impress us. It is no wonder when children face challenges, good parents feel like failures. We have set ourselves up for those feelings of inadequacy by trying to manipulate our children into becoming who we always hoped they’d be.

God created each of us so uniquely that He gave us each a purpose (Jeremiah 29.11). How fun it will be as our kids get older, to see God’s plan unfold in their lives! Right now, my children are interested in horses, science experiments, and kitty cats. They get into trouble at school for talking too much, for dancing in the halls and “webbing” imaginary characters during reading time. They talk about becoming teachers, and farmers and parents. In contrast to my silly expectations before becoming a mom on what my children would be like, It’s my prayer now that the Lord use the interests, talents and personalities that He gave them to shape them into adults who honor Him. I’m learning to let go of certain expectations, and switch my focus to praying “not my will, but yours be done” (Luke 22.42).

When Anthony was a baby, I sang a worship song, entitled Praise You, to him daily as a lullaby. I changed the words slightly to make it specific for him, but also for myself as a new mother. I know the Lord has honored that prayer, and will continue to do so throughout our lives.

Praise You, Praise You,

Left my life, praise you.

Lord, I come to you today,

With a simple prayer to pray,

In everything I do,

Let my life, O Lord, Praise You!

Lord, you formed him out of clay,

And for your glory he was made.

Use this vessel as you choose,

And let his life, O Lord,

Praise You!

I have the following scripture committed to memory, and pray it over my children often.

Philippians 1:9

“This is my prayer for you: that your love will grow more and more; that you will have knowledge and understanding with your love; that you will see the difference between good and bad and will choose the good; that you will be pure and without wrong for the coming of Christ; that you will do many good things with the help of Christ to bring glory and praise to God.

I always expected the “letting go” phase of parenting to happen somewhere in their adolescents or when they are ready to move out of the house for college. True, my children are still small and very much in need of their mother. However, there are certain areas that I have to let go, and let God take control over. I am trusting in the Lord that if I train up my child in the way he should go (spiritually), when he is older he will not depart from those teachings (from Proverbs 22.6). I believe “there is no greater joy than [knowing] that my children are walking in the truth” (3 John 1.4).